My good friend Sarah discovers she's inherited some very desirable land in Manhattan. She rents a school bus and drives all her co-workers and friends to an area between 3rd and 2nd Avenue 'somewhere in midtown -- it's a secret'. Suddenly, the buildings disappear and the landscape is covered in fields and grass. An orange glow surrounds the land as Sarah explains it as 'the last piece of undeveloped land in the city'. We stop at a small cave-like structure similar to the cave at the beginning of 'Raiders of The Lost Ark'. Inside, it is explained by someone, is the largest and oldest underground bar in the city. We walk in greeted by beautiful deeply stained mahogany barstools and tables covered with cobwebs. There is a large selection of 'real' ale taps. Just beyond, a very old man with a bow-tie stands behind the bar slowly cleaning a pint glass. 'Sorry,' he says, 'We're closed'.

I am second in command under Robert Duvall's character, Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore, in 'Apocalypse Now'. At first, it seems we are acting in a 'deleted scene' from the film, one that explains Duvall's character more fully, and that occurs long before the beach scene that actually appears in the film. Soon I realize what is happening is 'real'. We are in charge of an American held town in Vietnam. The buildings are all small high rises, not unlike a small college campus, but build on a former golf course. As the miliary team, we have a peaceful rapport with the villagers and work and live among them as uneasy comrades.

Heading out unarmed (as we are accustomed) to play a game of volleyball, we are suddenly surrounded by an angry mob carrying machine guns and torches. At first Duvall's character attempts to reason with the locals. Suddenly, one on them shoots a soldier in the forehead -- blood oozes out of a small hole. We begin to run, panicked, heading for our headquarters in a building nearby. As this is happening, air strikes begin on the village, and parts of buildings begin to explode.

We find the headquarters have been hit by a bomb as we reach them. Kilgore and I begin peeling back a large screen with a rock. The others attempt to fight the mob but are one by one violently mutilated by machete, ax and gun. As we crawl through the screen, the Lieutenant gets shot in the leg. I drag him inside and we sit for a moment on a couch, watching the action occurring outside on an old television. 'And I thought this was just a movie' I say.

We hear the mob breaking through the screen. I grab the wounded Duvall and we go down stairs to the kitchen area. The kitchen is filled with Mexican workers, including a sweet older woman that offers us water. 'Hide for your lives,' I say. 'The bombing has begun.' I put the now dazed and incoherent Duvall under a table. Hearing a bomb whistling towards the building, I yell 'Take cover!' to the kitchen staff and jump under the table to protect the Lieutenant with my own body as the building takes a hit.

We come out of the rubble and find the town has been pulverized. Our own planes are dropping giant wine corks for the survivors which we are to plant to grow grape trees (?!!?). Duvall's character gets choppered away and suddenly I am returned to my childhood neighborhood. My father has purchased a black and white station wagon from the 1960s. He is showing it to me as one of the models from 'The Price Is Right' hangs off his arm. 'What about mom?' I ask. 'Don't worry', he says, 'She's ok with the purchase.'

Also in the parking lot is an old red and black convertable which I apparently bid on and won using Ebay while 'in the war'. I am upset to find that while it's inspected through September of 2007, it's missing a side mirror and the tires are made of marshmallow. Furious, I go inside my family house where I find my mother, sister, and girlfriend all preparing a huge meal in the kitchen.

'Which set of keys are for the convertible?' I say to Elisa. She hands me a dozen ziploc baggies each holding a set of car keys. 'I don't know, but these all came in the mail for you'. I go back out to my 'new' car and begin trying keys. As I do this, the car slowly begins to coast out into traffic, and I realize the brakes don't work. Just as a giant semi truck is heading for the immobilized car, I wake up.

(guest dream by Shane Seely)

You and I were watching someone's house (a big, sprawling one-story home) while they were away. They had a lot of yard art, and we decided to sell it to a Mexican landscaper. After he bought it, we started walking toward my car, which was in an underground garage, only to realize that he was following us. We walked faster, feeling as though we would be safe if we got to the car. I made it, but he grabbed your arm as you reached for the door and, with his other hand, pressed your face against the passenger-door window. "Help," you said. "Get him off me." I put the car into reverse, hoping to knock him over. Your face distorted on the glass. I woke up.

-- I may be watching too much Law and Order: Criminal Intent these days. But damn, D'Onofrio's good -srs