I am at my college, and there is no funding for a school newspaper. I call my 'friend' John McCain and he comes by to inspect the paper's office. My college friend Gretchen and my old Editor/boss friend Andy from my days working at the Pittsburgh City Paper are both there. Andy is in an old school airline pilot's leather helmet. There are several black raincoats laying around on chairs. I say to McCain 'Look we HAVE all these black jackets, which proves we just need funding to press!' Gretchen shakes his hand, saying 'Mr McCain, I am the leader of this college, and I approve your sponsorship of our newspaper'. McCain suddenly gets really excited, saying 'Well dammit, no college should be without a newspaper, especially one with this many fine black jackets!' Pulling out his checkbook, he writes a check for $2049.00

I live in a large trailer, and my dad is Randy Quaid. He is a mean and loud drunk and keeps insisting I call backhoe companies because 'There's oil in our 'backyard''. Meanwhile, my brother is Heath Ledger but as the gay cowboy, and I kept hiding his gayness from my dad (Quaid) to the point where he sneaks off to the dog house out back to have sex with men. My friend Rich comes by to record some vocal tracks. I keep getting distracted by an older but really hot blonde that looks like Naomi Watts but with total white trash hair and ripped jeans, and apparently my aunt, who keeps wanting to 'sex me'.